Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Confessions on a Wednesday: Stand Back Up & Fly

We all have disappointments in life....that's one thing you can be assured of. Want a sure thing? It's name is disappointment. I've had many in my lifetime...so many that for much of my life..I've walked around with a big gaping hole inside me.
I tried to fill that hole in many ways...hobbies...finding a person who loved me...loving others...helping others...writing..creating art...you name it...I  tried so very hard to fill that hole....
Imagine a little girl carrying around a big shovel....never tiring..trying to fill a hole that never seemed to get any smaller...you have imagined me....until 2 months ago.
Then someone pushed me into the hole....and buried me...alive. I thought I would die...suffocate...the soil was heavy on my chest...I almost gave up. I thought...I'm tired of carrying the world on my shoulders....the one person I trusted in again...loved...promised me....has abandoned me...betrayed me...forsaken me...I can't do this anymore...I am so tired...I can't and don't want to go on anymore...I'm ready to meet my maker....
Then in those few hours of despair....my spirit rose up...it said...you are not ready...if you give up...you will not meet your maker...for your maker dwells above...he gives life...doesn't take it....the one who is crushing you...is not your maker....no this is your time to fly. You have never given up...you will not now.
I was pushed down...on the floor...crushed...defeated...fallen...beaten...and then I decided I will STAND BACK UP....I've had enough...I'm weak....I'm scared....broken....then my maker told me...yes you are...this is the only way...I can use you....broken...bruised...scarred...now my love...I can use you....
My maker placed a light inside of me...that no one...no man...can snuff out..I can weather this storm...I can heal these sparrow wings...and rise up on the wings of an eagle....not only will I just stand back up--but I will FLY.
Not by my own might....but yes I can surrender...completely....then thru His power...I will rise and be victorious....to be a stronger spirit that I ever was before.
How? I'm not sure...but in time I will let you know...sometimes you don't feel an absolute...you don't feel an answer...a solid definition...a divine intervention...a peace..but you KEEP going...you just STAND BACK UP even when you don't feel like it, or think you can't...you do....because you must...
So when life's disappointments reach you---when someone you love betrays you...when someone says you are a failure...you feel a waste of life...you keep making mistakes...you feel you are not worthy....
STAND BACK UP...for only your maker knows WHO you are and WHO you are meant to be...you might be slow to awaken...a bit delayed in rising...but you are WORTH life...worth pushing thru this big world....worth every disappointment....worth every tear....worth each trial...you are WORTH this fight my friend... no matter what life throws at you...no matter who pushes you down...you must STAND BACK UP. Then my friend....at the long end of this road called life...you will meet your Maker...who will say...Well done...then you will rise above...all the disappointments...the naysayers...those prison keepers....will be nothing to you. For they will no longer hold the key...YOU my friend hold the key...unlock it today...believe in yourself again....you are WORTHY....so STAND BACK UP and stretch your wings....

Only thru losing your feathers a few at a time....molting the old ones...waiting for the new tender ones to harden..to strengthen......stretching them until they hurt..building them up......can they take you higher..can they weather the storm...can they lift you up and you can soar...soar above all that has hurt you...above all the naysayers..all the things that held you down...or the people...only upon extreme pressure...can your wings be strengthened...and ready for the flight of your life...

Love to you this Wednesday--no matter WHAT you have went thru...YOU have a purpose...it is NEVER too late my friend...broken? Only more able to be used...only when broken...can you grow...and SOAR in the sky.